New Years Party..

I would like to start with recentest of events as they are fresh in my mind...
I shall endeavor not to get too emotionally wrapped up in it, though it shall probably provide a nice segue into future posts concerning my past.

I started my evening performing 6 songs at the Hornby Working Mens Club as a warm-up act for Eddy Low to a lot of shall we say older folks. I couldn't tell if they were appreciative or not, I admittedly felt it rather awkward. ^-^;; However, I was paid anyhow and I suppose it was easy money.

Dylan, my boyfriend was there waiting for me after to whisk me away to a party at his flat. But instead of busing, instead we were offered a ride by a family friend who was the pianist in the band and was the one who had offered me the gig. I should say now that I had planned to not drink that night, because I don't really like drinking, I am inexperienced and know I am an extreme light weight, as they would say. However, in the car, Dylan said I should get something to drink or else I'll feel left out, which I suppose has the element of truth for most people, though personally I believe in making my own fun. But I bought into it and so picked up some Cindy's screwdrivers, something easy and no very alcoholic tasting.

I'll skip ahead. Basically, as the night chugged onward and I partook in some strange drinking games including one where he floor was 'lava' I was unaware that I had drunk more than I have ever so quickly and on an empty stomach too... I was looked after well though by my man, and his friends, but even so I managed to accidently break the towel rack in the bathroom and get very 'spinny'.

Best part of the night:
Dylan got his friends to distract me (easy as I was a little happy drunkard at said point) as he went outside to set something up. Then, as the countdown to midnight was about to start he led me outside closed my eyes and stood me in the middle of the driveway. As midnight struck he opened my eyes and kissed me as we stood in the middle of a circle of fireworks!!! How's that for a magical moment?? *^-^* I am blessed to have someone care so much for me and I have never felt so cared for nor have I been romanced or woed so wondrously! Words really don't do this moment justice...

Worst part of the night:
The clock ticked on, but by now I had no awareness of time. I had gotten myself quite intoxicated. -_-# As I was such, Dylan and his friend tried to convince me to go to bed, but I was stubborn, I wanted to join everyone and not retire early. See I was fully aware of most things but I was not able to control myself, like the towel rack incident. They tried to get me upstairs, but I really hate feeling forced and when the boy I didn't know touched me (trying to help me granted) I freaked out. My mind recessed. I yelled "Don't touch me" and broke free and before I knew what happened I was running. An old impulse, when I am totally freaked, upset, I run. And before I knew it I was out on the street and I was sprinting. But my little legs weren't any match for Dylan's long ones. He had pursued his little drunk, delusional girl out onto the streets and stopped me. Grabbed me and held me close.
Now you have to understand, in my mind I was reliving certain events of sexual abuse and assault which forever plague my mind. I sobbed and felt terrified, thought I had no real reason to be. After a while I started to register that Dylan was talking and saying "You're safe, you're with Dylan, Dylan, remember Dylan" and I began to snap out of it. But my panic attack had alarmed a few people and I was starting to realize what had really happened and felt a true fool. :/
Dylan then took me back to the flat and up to bed, I went willingly. And then something very unexpected happened. I vomited. Now this comes from a body that hasn't puked truly since childhood so I was shocked. And it was awful, gosh darn awful, all stomach acid. I do not understand for the life of me that youth can drink and do his so often. It makes me sad. D:

So that was my night. I apologized in the morning about the towel rack, but the general response seemed to be that it was a bit of drunken hilarity so that eased my mind. Yayy..off the hook...heh heh heh...^-^;;

Sayonara, minna-san.
<3